One of the things adopted people lose through adoption is, most obviously, their family. This is the not-a-happy-ending side of things no one talked about, at least not until recently. As adopted people - or unwanted babies and children, as most of us began life as someone's shameful problem to solve - we were told … Continue reading Filling in the blanks.
Somewhere between being born and being adopted, abandoned people learn that being pleasing means you're less likely to be left behind (again). If you're funny or engaging, kind, people might like you - you might even make some friends. If you're funny or smart or have some special talent or hobby, you might find your … Continue reading Balancing Act.
After pulling back from reunion almost five years ago, I find myself wondering 1) how could I have handled that better and 2) was I supposed to set expectations or boundaries, and 3) is there any reparation to be made? For most of my life, making any decision was difficult and very uncomfortable. When open, … Continue reading Less than Perfect.
In the 1901 Directory of Social and Health Agencies of New York [State]..., Volumes 11-13; Volumes 16-19, in chapters titled Cheap Meals, Lodgings, and Baths and Reformatories for Women, you will find a listing for the place my first-mother stayed while pregnant with me. Despite decades between the first mention of this "Home" for unwed … Continue reading Friendless and Fallen.
A young male and a young female have sex. Years ago, a medium said my conception "feels like it was very...abrupt. And aggressive." I have no idea what happened only that the Female became pregnant. Male has no interest in 1) any relationship with the female past the one (was it more than one?) night … Continue reading The Un-Natural Father.
October 1963, born. Immediately admitted into hospital; stay for three months until I am well enough to be relinquished.January 15, 1964, relinquished.January 1964, relocated to address Upper East Side, possible foster home.March 1964, admitted back into hospital.May 1964, out of hospital. Relocated to foster home in New Hyde Park, Long Island, N. Y.November 1964, adopted.February 1985, move into … Continue reading Some of the Pieces: A timeline.