Raising a child while neglecting to actually Mother said child: Unmothering. Growing up, the moments of my adoptive mother acting like a Mother were scant. Mother and Mommy are similar but different; truthfully, I'm not recalling anything outstanding for the Mommy category, either. There were moments she acted like a Mother. Dependable, positive, pleasant and... Continue Reading →
Wading.
New Dorp, Staten Island. 1986. My first apartment, the entire second floor of a small two-family house. Bedroom with alcove closet, full bath, large kitchen/dining area, sunny living room with small private terrace overlooking the neighborhood. At $450 a month, it was a gem. I felt safe if a tad remote. The commute was cool: Walk... Continue Reading →
Opening Lines.
These are the things she told me from a very early age. They are, in no particular order, the foundations of how, when and why I arrived. (You'll note I was never born in any of these well-meaning bon mots.) Whether true at the time they were shared matters not; it's what was told to... Continue Reading →
The part where she begins to write about being adopted.
The last couple weeks, on the way to and from work, I've been soaking up a lot of Adoptees On podcasts; and, while I am a writer, the one topic I have neatly avoided is my adoption/search/reunion and that I decided reunion wasn't what I thought. Or, rather, I wasn't sure what reunion was supposed... Continue Reading →
Christmas Coffee in Syosset, Lawn Guyland 2015
Gimme... Yeah,...I want... Umgonnahaf... Lemmeget... . Tell you what I want. Are ya' listenin'?? Not a single please nor thank you. Not. One. And her daughter-in-puffy-jacket walked directly in front of me several times while carting coffee mugs to and fro, deciding a teacher gift. Not once did that 11- or 13-year-old child make eye... Continue Reading →
On The Practice of Space and Connection
This morning, I woke to find an e-mail from the wife of one of my cousins - one of my favorite people. This gal is known throughout the family as warm, sunny, loving, caring, funny. We all look forward to seeing her. A devoted and generous daughter, wife, and mother, and now a beautifully graced... Continue Reading →
Octoberation 
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