The Brea[d]ths of July

July 13, 2012, at 7:30 AM This has always been my least favorite day of summer.The one where my child goes off to her father's for a month.The one where my role - and need for my services - abruptly stops. In some years, she will return and tell me they forbid her to call... Continue Reading →

Hericane. [sic]

In pre-dawn stillThe wind comes once everyThree minutes, bellowing deep in the treesSlow, picks up speed, then stops. dark ghost trainwinds down, swapping arrivers fordepartersWhose gossamer trench coating shuffle wetLeaves adhere, our front window stained Chapel glass between worlds. Warm and dry,tamed storming, unpredictable rowdyTimetables of bluster and agenda, measures of syncopated nature, theruthless spiced... Continue Reading →

Friendless and Fallen.

In the 1901 Directory of Social and Health Agencies of New York [State]..., Volumes 11-13; Volumes 16-19, in chapters titled Cheap Meals, Lodgings, and Baths and Reformatories for Women, you will find a listing for the place my first-mother stayed while pregnant with me.  Despite decades between the first mention of this "Home" for unwed... Continue Reading →

The Un-Natural Father.

A young male and a young female have sex. Years ago, a medium said my conception "feels like it was very...abrupt.  And aggressive."  I have no idea what happened only that the Female became pregnant. Male has no interest in 1) any relationship with the female past the one (was it more than one?) night... Continue Reading →

Unmothered Mother & Child

Raising a child while neglecting to actually Mother said child:  Unmothering.  Growing up, the moments of my adoptive mother acting like a Mother were scant.  Mother and Mommy are similar but different; truthfully, I'm not recalling anything outstanding for the Mommy category, either. There were moments she acted like a Mother.  Dependable, positive, pleasant and... Continue Reading →

Some of the Pieces: A timeline.

  October 1963, born.  Immediately admitted into hospital; stay for three months until I am well enough to be relinquished.January 15, 1964, relinquished.January 1964, relocated to address Upper East Side, possible foster home.March 1964, admitted back into hospital.May 1964, out of hospital.  Relocated to foster home in New Hyde Park, Long Island, N. Y.November 1964, adopted.February 1985, move into... Continue Reading →

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