The part where she begins to write about being adopted.

The last couple weeks, on the way to and from work, I’ve been soaking up a lot of Adoptees On podcasts; and, while I am a writer, the one topic I have neatly avoided is my adoption/search/reunion and that I decided reunion wasn’t what I thought.

Or, rather, I wasn’t sure what reunion was supposed to be.  So, after 11 years or thereabouts, not knowing how to be a reunited person (or knowing where or how I fit with that family) I wrote an email to my firstmom saying I thought we’d come to the end of our path, thanking her for having me, and that it had been nice to meet her other children.  In some circles, they might refer to my withdrawing as a “time out”, one of the stages of reunion.  What it felt like was that I just didn’t belong to or with them.  I’m not sure how to call “time in”, if I ever felt like I fit with them, without anyone in my birth family wondering about my sanity. The withdrawal October 2015; I found my firstmom in February 2004.

It’s a long story (aren’t they all?) but I wanted to begin by saying “Thank you” if you’re reading along.  There are a lot of these stories out here, about adoptees.  We are the lost, the found and those of us who float somewhere in between.

2 thoughts on “The part where she begins to write about being adopted.

  1. Hi Jennifer. Most of what I’ve seen you write is direct and vulnerable. This reveal is still quite veiled. Must be a lot that you’re still chewing on – if not the subject itself, then the meta- of having an audience for this subject. I look forward to reading the next installment if/when you feel moved to write about and share your experience. In the meantime, it was good to see a post in this medium now that you’re not regularly posting on (stupid) Facebook, where I still find reason to linger.

    • Ha! “(stupid) Facebook” gave me a very big laugh – thank you! Hope you are well, always good to hear from you.

      The topic of being an adoptee is a long time stewing, and while there’s quite a bit of narrative, it’s a hard story to tell when the players are all alive. The goal is to share, heal, understand, not maim…I’m not sure I can do any of that without some sort of wobble.

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