24 July, 2014. (Journal)

Some of you are dancing to stay focused on a single candle flame of thought.

Some of you are wrestling with obligation and responsibility, and choosing indecision as the companion who leads.

Some of you are up late pretending you’re not tired or that, soon, sleep will come and the sofa will be ‘just as good’ as the bed, where you would otherwise be sleeping alone.

Some of you are not alone but with family or friends, celebrating something elated and sweet – or simply held captive by banal late evening news.

Some of you are paying bills or mending socks or finishing the dishes or folding laundry, watering the dog, wishing there were fresh sheets on the bed, sweeping the spiders outdoors (or into a square of tissue into the toilet).

Beside an oscillating fan or bathed in dry, cool air conditioned bliss.

All of us are seeking.

Sleep, a partner, a missing piece, a cure, a level of satisfaction, an answer, a reply, a touch, a word, a recipe, a bit of enjoyable nothing, a meal, a grace, an overwhelming need to just give in and stop (or go), a growing list, a shrinking waistline, a good laugh, a bad joke, a moment of pure joy, a titillation, a note, a diminished sense of responsibility, a mentor, a guide, a map, a tool or the ability to leap a barrier – just once.

All these are ingredients, life-affirming, no matter how annoying or pleasant.

All of the scenes in all of our different windows are breathing and living and contributing to this July summer night. You contribute to mine, and I to yours, however miniscule and unbidden. I hope it is good for you; it is perfectly out of sync and lopsided here, for me – and that is really just fine.

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