Screw the polite. (Not as far to where I’d actually use an f-bomb but screw it farther than normal for now, for me.)
Today, at work – work, and coworkers, I have adored since Day One and if I didn’t have people to come home to I’d have already figure a way to be there 40+ hours a week – I received a thump from a coworker. Nothing I couldn’t handle but it smacked of control and baggage (hers not mine) and it left me feeling like crap the rest of my shift.
Yes, I stood up for myself. Yes, when she interrupted then loudly insulted me in front of 50 guests/customers, I held it together. Yes, I told her it WAS humiliating. And when she refuted that, saying, “No, it wasn’t humiliating” in utter dismissal of what I’d just verified, I assured her it was; that I’d been on the receiving end of her commentary while she’d been on the delivery end. She.continued to brush off my feelings, completely.
It was at that very moment – the moment of dismissal and belittlement – the fingers of my right hand curled into a fist, which I immediately tucked behind my back and held calmly with the other palm.
I wanted to bust her right in the nose for being so bossy and insensitive. Ironic, no?
Generally, I’m not a fighter. A stewer, yes. I can swallow things that bother me for weeks, letting them stew. At some point they either fade away or they boil over. Today, neither happened. I stayed present and fairly relaxed and was able to recognize my emotion as it bloomed. It didn’t get out of hand or cripple me – as it usually does.
I have to return there in the morning. No idea whether we are scheduled together but a good night’s sleep will be beneficial.
So, good night.