One of the things adopted people lose through adoption is, most obviously, their family. This is the not-a-happy-ending side of things no one talked about, at least not until recently. As adopted people - or unwanted babies and children, as most of us began life as someone's shameful problem to solve - we were told … Continue reading Filling in the blanks.
Somewhere between being born and being adopted, abandoned people learn that being pleasing means you're less likely to be left behind (again). If you're funny or engaging, kind, people might like you - you might even make some friends. If you're funny or smart or have some special talent or hobby, you might find your … Continue reading Balancing Act.
In April, tired and frustrated, I decided to look for an adoption-competent therapist. It's a thing, adoption-competency. Who knew? The first time I'd heard of this on an Adoptees On podcast earlier this year. Searching the Internet for a local therapist experienced with adopted people, I found several sites for foster and adoptive families but … Continue reading Repair and Re-pair.
After pulling back from reunion almost five years ago, I find myself wondering 1) how could I have handled that better and 2) was I supposed to set expectations or boundaries, and 3) is there any reparation to be made? For most of my life, making any decision was difficult and very uncomfortable. When open, … Continue reading Less than Perfect.
Entre. French for "in between"; not "entrée" like the main course of a meal. Freres, brothers. Soeurs, sisters. You can puzzle-piece the title of this post.One of many outcomes of my adoption reunion was siblings. My sibling tribe grew, exploded really, from one sister - with whom I was raised - to seven altogether. We … Continue reading entre frères et sœurs
Old-fashioned peony, Thomas Jefferson's Monticello. D. J. Dawson 2019. Hello to all you mothers out there. Hello to you and your Offspring, be they from your imagination, womb or another's. This post was started last weekend and it's taken me that long to get my thoughts in reasonable order. Early evening, on the way home … Continue reading Bloom.